by Lama Tsultrim Allione
Recent events have reminded me of a Dzog Chen teaching which begins: ‘one ground, two paths, two results’.(1) The ‘one ground’ is also called the base or the womb of the great mother. It is pure latency, depth radiance, an expanse of emptiness and infinite potency from which the whole universe comes, yet the ground itself is without external radiance or projective aspects.
The possibility of the ‘two paths’ begins when awareness (rigpa), which is naturally luminous, self-organizing and inherently perfect, raises up through the movement of the gnostic winds from the primordial ground. Initially this takes the form of rainbow-hued energy in mandalic configurations, similar to sunlight striking a crystal ball.
In the initial moment of the ground radiating there is a movement from internal potential radiance to external manifest radiance. Though this is a shift, there is not yet a rupture into dualism. Longchenpa images this as a ‘luminous house’ (2), a dome of light emanating from the purely latent ground.
The Two Paths
This is the crucial juncture from where the ‘two paths’ diverge from the ‘one ground’. On one path this awareness immediately recognizes the luminous mandalic light configurations radiating from the primordial womb as its own dynamic energy and does not grasp them as being ‘other’. Thus this awareness is immediately liberated into enlightenment, spiraling back into its source, integrating the experience of internal and external radiance.
Emptiness and manifestation are experienced as inseparable. This is the state known as the primordial Buddha, ‘The All Good One’ who is iconographically portrayed as a dark blue male figure in union with a pure white female figure, both naked with no ornaments, symbolizing this state of naked awareness. Although here awareness reunites with the ground, it is different from the primordial womb in that it integrates an awareness of both internal and external radiance, rather than being pure latency.
The second path is the one we took. It is called ‘straying’ into non-recognition, a state in which the psychic energy surges into external radiation, but fails to recognize the ‘luminous house’ as its own radiation. After the initial non-recognition, a state of subtle anxiety arises; this confusion motivates further movement. Then confusion solidifies, its subtle luminosity becomes hidden, creating the elements and psycho-physical components of the universe as we know it. All ‘material’ elements are in fact the solidification of consciousness’ original play of five colored lights which, under conditions of non-recognition, appear to congeal into what we know as matter, the five elements, molecular structures and so on. What appears to be solid is, as science also tells us, actually inherently space and energy. For this reason a ‘realized’ being can manipulate ‘material’ objects, leave imprints in stone, travel through walls, and other so called miraculous activities. These are not inexplicable powers, but rather activities of one who has realized the true nature of reality.
Straying into non-recognition leads to the formation of the ego structure, which is characterized by the discursive processing of its own radiation as ‘self’ and ‘other’. This is the dualistic rupture, fall from grace if you will, and from it grasping, aggression and ignorance develop.
The process of straying creates a self-perpetuating condition, like a kaleidoscopic hall of mirrors, where we seek to resolve our inherent alienation through further projections and interactions with ‘other’, which is always unsuccessful and creates the pervasive condition of dissatisfaction or suffering. The second path continues to build chaotic layers from a wild variety of fragmented impulses and subconscious currents leading us from one situation to the next, and one life to the next.
The ‘two results’ are in the first case liberation into the state of the primordial Buddha, or in the second case transmigration in cyclic existence. For all of us who took the second path there is always the possibility of recognizing the ground, because we are actually never apart from it. Although we have left the primordial ground, it has never left us, so our consciousness may eventually find its way back, like a child reuniting with its mother. The spiritual path is the
journey toward recognition of the ground. A process of circumventing obstacles, clearing obscurations, accruing positive karma and finally reaching the dimension where ‘other’ fades away and we return to the luminous ground and are liberated. Awareness is the fabric of reality right from the beginning of the universe and the recognition or non-recognition of it is the key determinant on the path.
On the spiritual path we are essentially seeking the circumstances and cultivating tendencies that will be the most conducive to recognition of the primordial ground and a stabilization of that recognition.
The tantra called The Supreme Continuity, (rGyud Lama, in Tibetan) states:
‘Were there an inexhaustible treasure, in the ground under a poor person’s house, they might not know it was there, nor would the treasure tell them, ‘I am here’. Just so, since all living beings fail to realize the precious treasure contained in their minds, the stainless reality, devoid of any negativity to be cleared away or anything positive to establish, they continually experience the suffering of poverty and deprivation in a variety of ways.’
Once we see the treasure we have been ‘sitting on’, there is a longing to dedicate oneself to the path with great commitment. Here everything, even the densified forms of matter that we might think of as impure are revealed to be completely integrated with the primordial state. So there is nothing to adopt or reject, and nothing to seek elsewhere. From the beginning of the split from the ground it is the very seeking, even the spiritual seeking, that is the problem. Since there is no differentiation between pure and impure, this state is called the Great Completeness or the Great Perfection, Dzog Chen.
Sri Simha, an ancient Dzog Chen master said,
‘Without having to be forsaken, the five poisons are the five great wisdoms.
Without having to be eliminated, samsara is totally pure from the beginning.
If you understand that enlightenment is your own mind,
There is no other meditation.’ (3)
The process described as ‘one ground, two paths, two results’ takes place at every moment. These two choices are co-emerging all the time, there has always been, and always will be, pure awareness present within all beings: indwelling, naked and unconditioned. When teachers initiate disciples into the ground or the nature of mind, they often create shock through sounds or actions to stop the discursive chatter long enough for there to be a moment of naked awareness.
The Twin Towers and Ground Zero
The vastness of the destruction and the sheer numbers of those who died in the attacks and the collapse of the ‘twin towers’ on September 11, 2001, created a huge mind stopping shock, a collective experience of the ground, aptly named ‘ground zero’. I was stunned by the symbolism of the ‘twin towers’, an uncanny metaphor of the dualistic fixation that is the basis for straying from the ground. Suddenly, in a most horrifying way, collectively we were faced with the real nature of conditioned existence and the emptiness underlying all our fabrications, no matter how big or permanent they had seemed.
In the moment of the collapse of the ‘twin towers’ and out of the emptiness of ‘ground zero’, a universal experience of compassion arose. People all over the world became one with those people jumping from the burning towers or being crushed by them. We were no longer separate. When there is an emptiness of ‘self’ there is an emptiness of ‘other’ and from this state compassion naturally occurs.
According to the Dzog Chen teachings, those who died also experienced ‘ground zero’ and the ensuing luminosity. At the moment of death there is said to be an experience of the ground. The shining forth of the luminosity from ground follows, an experience glorious light, described in various ways by those who have had ‘near-death’ experiences. Usually this is not recognized, and so then the being immediately journeys toward the next life. But if the person has been introduced to the nature of mind in this life and their karma is ripe they may be liberated at the time of death. I pray that through the collective practice of many beings all over the world on that terrible day many of those who died were liberated. It is crucial to remember that each moment is potentially one of recognition, and we are actually always making the choice: ‘One ground, two paths and two results.’
War in the Land of the Dakinis
As the situation developed into a war in Afghanistan, I was again struck by the symbolic nature of events. The ‘ground’ where the war is taking place was the emergence point on this earth of the Great Perfection (Dzog Chen) teachings. A land called Uddiyana existed in that area and it was from Uddiyana that Dzog Chen spread to Tibet.
The violence and repression rampant in that location is in sharp contrast with the gentle, profound, non-dual teachings of Dzog Chen. The contrast in the area’s situation for women now compared to then is also remarkable. Uddiyana had so many enlightened influential women that it was called the ‘Land of the Dakinis.’ In the Dzog Chen Semde lineage, which was brought to Tibet from Uddiyana by Vimalamitra in the eighth century, we see it is completely natural for women to teach men and vice versa.
The prostitute (4) Parani, sixth in the Dzog Chen Semde lineage, followed Nodjyinmo Changchubma, daughter of a king. Parani asked Nodjyinmo Changchubma for the essence of the teachings and she replied:
“From the origin, there is no duality between Buddhas and sentient beings.
If you understand, this is supreme knowledge.
Realize that your non-dual mind is dharmakaya. (5)
Apart from this there is no other meditation!
Then Parani perfectly understood the meaning of the primordial state and expressed her realization thus:
I am the prostitute Parani.
As mind is neither male nor female,
When one understands bodhicitta,(6) the supreme view,
Sexual union does not disturb its nature.
As mind is beyond birth and death, even if you kill it, it does not die.
As all of existence is nectar, from the beginning there is no place for purity and impurity!” (7)
In the Dzog Chen lineage Parani was followed by a pandit named, Khenpo Rabnang, considered to be the most learned person in his country. Then he was followed by another pandit, Khenpo Maharaja, who was then followed by Princess Gomadevi, and so on. The Dzog Chen Semde lineage goes back and forth from male to female and from one social status to another without making any distinctions or limitations. (8)
Now in this very place where Uddiyana flourished the most brutal cruelties are being perpetrated in the name of religion. Mythologies about ‘holy wars’ make violence ‘divinely approved’. Violence against women is particularly evident and minor ‘moral infractions’ cause women to be hunted down and severely punished or even killed. Women’s freedom, especially their sexual freedom, threatens the very foundation of this system of repression believed to be ‘divinely ordained’ by its followers. (9)
While the historically enlightened ‘ground’ of non-dual teachings is ‘under’ war, the ‘ground’ of the primordial state is ‘under’ our internal war. On this very ‘ground’, we are chasing, battling, seducing, and struggling with ‘other’, not recognizing the primordial womb that holds us. May the ‘ground zero’ of these battles return the land of Uddiyana to a place of freedom and again produce wise and inclusive teachings. My hope is that the activity of the war will stir up the ancient wisdom of the area that once was apparent, and the land will again be a place of joy.
Emerging from the Womb
Now I sit in my cabin, snow flies around me, the fire glows and I know the time for ‘coming out’ draws near. This year-long retreat has been more than I could have imagined on so many levels. Retreat is, in a sense, the outer womb that leads to the primordial womb, the ‘one ground’. Being in retreat is holding and protecting a container for incubation, for deep processes to root without disturbance. Without the pressures of various commitments and responsibilities we make ourselves available for the journey back to the source. No matter how busy we are, we all need time for incubation, time to come home. Whether it is for a few hours or days or weeks, or months we need to set boundaries, and find time to return home. For me the time I set was a year, which has passed very quickly.
I need to explain something about the circumstances around my retreat in order to clarify my decision not to schedule myself much for the coming year. When I entered retreat, I had just come from a near death experience when our sleeping driver drove myself and my guide off a cliff in Bhutan. We flew through the air for a few seconds and then began rolling and hitting trees, down a steep embankment. Miraculously none of us were seriously injured.(10) I now see the accident was something I needed to experience before retreat, to know that when I take a leap there will be presences there holding me. Before I entered retreat, another leap into the unknown, I needed the visceral experience of being protected and supported by unseen presences in that moment of complete powerlessness.
After the accident in Bhutan I traveled directly to Costa Rica for my mother’s 85th birthday celebrations. Then Dave and I rushed back to Colorado to finish the new house we have built adjoining Tara Mandala. Next we had to move everything from the old house with friends by pickup truck and horse trailer through muck and slush. This was done two days before I was to start. So by the time I started the retreat, I felt like I was at the end of a marathon.
Kilung Rinpoche, a Longchen Nyingtig Lama based in Seattle, came to do the ceremonies for establishing the boundaries of the retreat. He did a long puja in Tibetan at the new house, attended by well wishing friends. Then after saying goodbye to most people, a small group made its way down the hill to my cabin in the dark, through snow banks and mud, carrying the tormas (ceremonial cakes) that would be on my shrine for the year.
After I had asked all my last minute questions, it was time. Rinpoche put hot coals in a container and we went outside. He sprinkled blessed juniper from Tibet on the coals and then we went around the cabin and in each direction invoked the ‘king’ of that direction to hold that boundary and protect me from obstacles. It was snowing and windy, the full moon glowed behind clouds. Suddenly thunder rolled, strange in winter.
Finally everyone left except Dave, we cried and hugged, and then he too was gone. As I stood there alone in the middle of the cabin, the wind howling outside, stuff strewn around, I wonder if this year of solitude wasn’t a crazy idea, a big mistake.
I thought, ‘This must be how it is when you die there are a few close ones there sending you off with love, and hopefully a spiritual guide. Then at some point, it is your time. You’re on your own, you’ve jumped, you’re off the cliff, there’s no turning back.” Strangely the accident in Bhutan gave me confidence in that moment.
I was sick for the first five weeks. In order to keep up with the schedule and responsibilities I’d had for many years, I could not listen to my body. I had to override her messages again and again. I had to force myself to follow a schedule made months, and even years, before events would take place. This had made my immune system weak and susceptible to infections, especially in my lungs. I’d had pneumonia once and chronic bronchitis every year, sometimes several times a year for several years.
So in the beginning, I decided to just allow my body to tell me when to rise, when to sleep, when to practice and when to eat. Gradually my body found her rhythm, not pushed and pressured by my inner patriarch. I slept deeply and rose rested. I practiced intensely, finding a pattern of meditation sessions that suited me.
As soon as green shoots began to emerge in April, plants started ‘talking’ to me. I would walk by a plant, and it was as if something would grab me. So, I would turn around and go back, knowing that this plant had something for me. I began collecting these plants finding them in books and just listening to them. I drank teas made from them and made tinctures. Gradually I added plants to my vocabulary, first the rare but locally abundant herb called bitter root, so valued by the Indians they would trade a horse for a bag of it. Then the edible delicate pink flowers called spring beauties, followed by potentilla, called so because of its potency and wide range of applications. As spring blossomed around me, I felt held and protected by these plant allies. Some herbalist say that you can tell the illnesses of the occupants of a house by the medicinal herbs that begin to grow around them, offering themselves.
My practice took me into deep spaces beyond words. For days I would have no appetite, I didn’t eat if I wasn’t hungry, trusting my body to know what she needed. I ate the food of meditation, and felt the natural shift to subtler forms of sustenance. I felt happiness in a way I never have before, not ordinary happiness, but the deep welling up that comes from the precious Dharma. My whole being began to relax and rejuvenate itself, but I also felt delicate, almost transparent.
As days warmed I lived with my doors open, even in the rain. If water came in I used it to wash the floor. I sank into the rhythm of the lengthening days. I often found myself doing five or six hour practice sessions. I loved seeing every sunrise and being intimately aware of the lunar cycle. I felt more layers of tension peeling off. I began to feel wilder in the true sense of the word. I could go naked, or wear weird things, or not brush my hair and there was no ‘other’ to worry about.
Summer arrived and I came out briefly for Adzom Rinpoche’s precious teachings on the Tri Yeshe Lama, as had been planned the year before, and then closed the doors again, diving deeper. This was actually the hardest time because I was flooded with news, stories, and some things that were disturbing to hear about. When I went back in, it took a while to shed it all and settle back into the container.
In the fall I was to enter a very strict time, two sections of about two months each in which no one should see my face. So as the fall approached, before my strict time began, I was asked about my 2002 schedule. I began to try to plan it, even though my dreams told me it was premature. I felt the old tensions coming back, but I went ahead anyway and a plan was put in place. On my birthday in October I had a strong vision telling me not to follow this plan, that the feminine energy that was coming forward in me would be damaged. Yet still I continued to plan, back in my old way of forcing myself to do what I thought I needed to do. I reasoned I had committed to just one year and I should come back as I had said I would.
The decisive moment came at the end of November, after my first several months of strict retreat. On November 24 I had a dream in which the ‘great mother’ appeared and told me it would be damaging to follow this schedule. I knew she was right and in the dream state her words hit me very hard. The ‘great mother’ has never appeared to me in a dream before, and the dream was so strong, I woke up. This time I felt I really had to pay attention, and so with some trepidation I let Dave know and he passed the news along.
Luckily Marta Macbeth is here. She is a great blessing, as all of you who met her last summer know. She moved here from Ithaca, New York to be our Program Coordinator. She comes with a deep commitment to service and a love for Tara Mandala. When she was alerted, she completely supported my decision and put together an amazing summer of retreats. As you will see these retreats will bring new and creative teachers to Tara Mandala, and it will be an even richer summer than we had planned before.
In response to this dream and everything else I have experienced this year it seems I need to continue in my own rhythm, my own seasons and journey deeply into the connection with this place and my practice, letting the feminine come forward and guide me. The feminine does not live in linear time. When the decision was made, there was simultaneously an inner sigh from my body, a knowing that it was the right choice, and some questions about what would have to be sacrificed. I believe that my decision will be supported, but whether it is or not I had to make it. Even if I’m not with you in the same way as before, I will be with you in other ways, that are perhaps more sustainable for my body. So next year I will be here at Tara Mandala in semi-retreat, wandering the hills, practicing, being with the plant spirits and listening. I will still be present for some retreats as you can see from the program, but much less than before, and with much less scheduled travel. I will continue to guide Tara Mandala and be available for personal connections as much as possible. It seems that once again I need to leap off the cliff and trust.
Also for me personally September 11 was a double blow. On that day my beloved father, who has served our family and his community for so long, was diagnosed with cancer ‘of unknown origin.’ He already had health challenges and his diagnosis came on my parent’s 58th anniversary, so that day was even more poignant for us.
I often thought about motivation in retreat. I’d ask myself “Why am I in retreat?” And remembered that I am in retreat because I feel it is the best thing I can do to help other sentient beings. The boundaries that I set before I started included a commitment to leave if my children or my parents were in danger or really needed me. I had to make this choice with the worsening of my father’s illness. Everyday I climbed up to the house before dawn and called him from the car and led both of my parents through a meditation to bring them greater tranquility and healing. Other family members scattered around the world knew the time of our practice and joined us when they could. It was a great comfort to him.
My dad, who had never had any interest in meditation began to really understand the mind-body connection. However it was too late in the game to make real changes and he continued to slide toward sickness. I felt I needed to get my hands on him. So again I asked myself, “What is the most compassionate thing to do?” I consulted with two lamas who both did divinations that indicated going or staying would be the same.
So after my first strict session of two months, I finally made the very difficult decision to leave retreat and go to be with him. I went into the outside world, which seemed dreamlike, and transparent. It was sad to leave retreat, but my dad was so relieved to have me there, I felt it was the right decision. I was grateful for the opportunity to serve in some small way this man who had served and protected me and many, many others all his life. He loved to be in physical contact and only in that proximity could I give him that comfort.
After a week I came back and entered another strict session. When I emerged it was clear he was almost gone. I called on his birthday, we talked about love and relaxation. By that time, I had completed my second strict session and the practices I really wanted to complete during the year. I wasn’t sure what I would do for the rest of the time. Then, the night of January 20, I was doing Shitro (the practice for the dead) for David Sharp who had died that day in New Zealand, and my dad kept showing up. So I did the Shitro for him too. The next morning we heard he’d lost consciousness in the night and passed away about 11 a.m., January 21. Dave and I left immediately. My son Cos was with him for two weeks before he died and practiced for him, verbally guiding him in the bardo. My mother and siblings were there too.
So now I have been through two funeral services and in this process, gained an even deeper respect for this man who was not only my father, but a mentor and bodhisattva in his community, parenting many people and causes.
Now I have returned to retreat and will spend the rest of my time focusing on doing Shitro for him. My retreat will end on March 9, 2002.
The Re-Emergence of the Sacred Feminine
My dream of the ‘great mother’ and other experiences that occurred over this year, including September 11, made it clear to me there is an urgent need for feminine conciousness to be valued, both personally and globally. Many questions have been coming to me: If the feminine presence had its rightful place in true partnership, if there was equal sharing of respect and empowerment between women and men: Would we have had the attacks of September 11? Would we be at war now? Could the Taliban exist? Could a man like Osama bin Laden have grown up to do what he did? What is his relationship to the feminine? Would there be a glorification of violence? Would women be bought and sold as they were in Afghanistan? Would there have been the response there was from the American government? How would the earth and her ‘resources’ be treated? Where was the voice of women in all the decisions that were made? The one congress member who voted against the war was an African American woman…I found that significant.
Because the feminine has been dominated, controlled and repressed for so long we don’t really know her. To really know her we must explore her, she must live in us, not only in women, but in men as well. We must make a commitment to let her live, because if we don’t, we won’t be living much longer either.
Of course ultimately, as Parani says, there is no male or female in the nature of mind. Yet we must remember she was living in a place where she was empowered enough to have a voice, to be a lineage holder, to make that statement. To go to the absolute level without taking care of the relative is dangerous rhetoric. It’s like the slave owners telling the slaves who want freedom and equality, “Now don’t be dualistic, you know that there is neither slave owner nor slave in the nature of mind.”
In the West we think we don’t wear the veil, but we do. We wear invisible ones. Until we are truly out from under the veil we need to be aware of our oppression and unconscious need for patriarchal approval and inclusion. Until we come back to the primordial ground of being there will always be suffering, but if we don’t pay attention to the need for balance, we may not live in a world where the conditions necessary for realization of the primordial are present. This happened in Afghanistan and in Tibet, and it could happen here.
We need to move toward balance. The lack of balance is a problem for men and women and something that affects us all deeply. Tara Mandala is a place where the partnership model is emerging. It has become clear that this needs to be more of our focus. So along with the traditional Tibetan teachings we will be doing programs that reflect the changes that need to take place in the world, leading to balance and harmony. We wish to bring attention to the need for transformation in all our ways of thinking and acting in order to become aware of what we have done to the planet and to ourselves.
A spiritual vision must include this awareness and a commitment to deal with environmental destruction, national and racial hatred, the arms race, and global warming, sexual mutilation, wife beating and nuclear proliferation. We need to face the facts and not be caught in our own narcissism. I don’t mean we all need to become political, but we need to bear witness to what is happening and not bury our heads in the sand just because we are ‘spiritual’. We need to realize that practicing for the benefit of all beings must be both personal and global, internal and external. We need to wake up, in all senses, with a firm commitment and dedication to compassion and love.
Like the goddess Tara, who vowed to help all sentient beings and not to pass into nirvana until all beings are free, we must be willing to work for all beings. That which comes through the land here, has the healing potential to bring us to fullness and partnership. Tara Mandala can be of great benefit. There is no place like this anywhere. Ekajati Peak at the center of the land is like a volcano spewing forth her healing, awakening, protecting forces. Ekajati is the protectress of Dzog Chen, the non-dual teachings of the great perfection.
I’m deeply inspired by the potential awakening that may come from the global crisis. The teachers who are coming here this year reflect a deepening of our process and our purpose in these challenging times. I look forward to seeing many of you, until then remember ‘one ground, two paths, two results.’
(1) The Great Perfection Aspiration Prayer of Samantabhadra, Trans. by Chokyi Nyima (Richard Baron) under the auspices of Gangteng Tulku, 1994
(2) For a detailed explanation and translation of Longchenpa’s works on this crucial juncture and Longchenpa’s work in general see by David Germano’s Poetic Thought, The Intelligent Universe, and the Mystery of Self: The Tantric Synthesis of rDzogs Chen in the Fourteenth Century Book 2, , publ. UMI Dissertation Services, Ann Arbor Michigan, 1992, p. 357
(3) Chogyal Namkhai Norbu and Adriano Clemente, The Supreme Source: The Fundamental Tantra of the Dzog Chen Semde, Kunjed Gyalpo, Snowlion, Ithaca, New York, 1999, p.46
(4) We also see several ‘prostitutes’ in the lineage. ‘Prostitutes’ in this case were most likely similar to the sacred prostitutes of the ancient western world, who were accorded social status, educated, and politically and legally equal to men. In the western world, sacred prostitutes were legally protected from slander, as were their children. They could inherit property and receive income from land worked by their brothers. They were called ‘hierodule’ which literally means ‘sacred servant’, a word employed by scholars to designate religious officials whose function included sexual rites. Ancient texts indicate in Uddiyana the ‘prostitutes’ were educated, often knew several languages, wrote poetry, knew dance, music, and the erotic arts. If they were not sacred prostitutes in this sense it is unlikely they would have had the education and respect to teach pandits, princes, and princesses as they did.
(5) Dharmakaya is the ‘spiritual body’ that refers to the ground, the formless potency, the empty essence of all, a condition similar to space that is all pervading.
(6) Bodhicitta in the Dzog Chen context is used slightly differently than in sutric teachings and refers to the primordial state within the individual, in Tibetan, Bodhicitta’s Chang Chub Sem. ‘Chang’ means pure or purified, ‘chub’ means perfect and ‘sem’ means the nature of mind rather than just mind. See Namkhai Norbu and Adriano Clemente, The Supreme Source: The Fundamental Tantra of the Dzog Chen Semde, Kungyed Gualpo, Snowlion, Ithaca, New York, U.S.A. 1999, p. 58
(7) ibid., p.38
(8) for more on this subject see The Supreme Source,(above), Passionate Enlightenment, by Miranda Shaw, Princeton, 1992, and the Addendum to the Preface in new edition of Women of Wisdom, Snowlion, Ithaca, New York, U.S.A.. 2000
(9) for a brilliant analysis of the connections between sex, pleasure and power through out history, and suggestions for a positive shift into a partnership model from a dominator model, see Riane Eisler’s ‘Sacred Pleasures: Sex, Myth, and the Politics of the Body’, Harper San Francisco, 1995
(10) see Tara Mandala Newsletter, 2001, “Practicing to Die”